Why is it that we often appear to only notice what people don't do for us? Or we only seem to notice the people who are thoughtless of us or inconsiderate to us. Why does it matter to us if only a few people in our atmosphere are seemingly thoughtless or inconsiderate?
I will speak for myself, however I'm sure a vast majority of people would agree with me, the number of amazing and considerate people in my space on the daily far outweigh anyone else. So why does it cut me to the quick with the handful who are not that way or "appear" to not be that way?
Is it everyone who notices when people act in thoughtless or inconsiderate manners? Do people care? Do I care so much because I'm a doer? Do I care so much because I go out of my way to make others feel cared for and appreciated? Does it bother me so much because it's a trauma response? Hmm???? This could very well be the case. Maybe it's all part of being Hypersensitive? Maybe it's time to revisit some old tools? Melody Beattie time?
Whatever the reason is, I find myself noticing a lot more lately who appears to be thoughtless and self centered vs caring and thoughtful.
I know for me, when I fall off the radar and don't check in with people, ask how they're doing, reply to what's going on in their life, it means my plate is completely overflowing with stuff. My A.D.D. brain ceases to function properly. I'm quite sure overwhelming life is probably the case with most other people as well.
For the few that really are selfish... Well, then it's time for Boundaries and to get out the list of all the amazing people in my life and appreciate my blessings.
Boundaries are getting easier to put in place with age, especially after this past year. I think this past year has shown the majority of humans who they can and can't live without. So maybe that's why I've been noticing the slights more lately. Because after this past year, my inner peace is the most important to me. Knowing there may be times when we have to choose who we can be around due to quarantine purposes, It makes it easier for one to create their boundaries and walk away from the rest.
So my advice to myself and anyone who cares to read this... Focus on the people who bring you joy, the ones that never make the (Can you believe they did or didn't do that) list. Take some time to make a gratitude list, every time you think of a person that didn't, list ones who do. And for those of you out there who are busy and realize you've fallen off the radar, take a minute to reach out to those you love.
For those others... Well.... You do you!