Wednesday, June 24, 2020


Have you ever stopped to think about why you reacted to something the way you did?  Part of returning to our sacred selves is feeling all the feels; and that also includes looking at why we react certain ways.
Anger for example... For me when I am angry you can bet it is coming from either feeling shamed or feeling a sense of fear or injustice, which can also trigger shame.  It's amazing how even the thought of it can trigger the feeling of shame. I sit here and write this, I can feel those feelings in my body.  The feelings of anxiety, flushed cheeks, dizziness.
So when I get angry, if I take some time to sit with the feelings and allow myself to trace them back to their origins, It doesn't take long for me to realize that it usually comes from previous trauma that I thought was long ago healed.

I have spent the better part of 20 years doing the work on myself, but every once in a while that little girl who felt like nobody would protect me or fight for me gets triggered.
Triggers for me happen in a moment that I feel as though I have been embarrassed, treated as less than or unfairly, I immediately become angry and want to lash out.  The moment I see what I perceive to be injustice I become angry and want to right that injustice and defend those I feel are not being protected.
Being able to identify the feelings and sit with them allows me to release them faster.  I am then able to move forward and take whatever appropriate actions are necessary.

Brene' Brown has some great books and talks on shame. I'm paraphrasing, but she defines shame as I am bad vs. guilt of I did bad. She says if we give it a voice it doesn't have power over us.  I believe it's true.  The more we discuss what is causing us to feel this way, the less we will feel it and will react to it.

I believe there is a biological reason for every emotion we have.  It goes back to us needing our fight or flight reflexes to survive.  I feel we need to recognize why we are feeling triggered and be able to release it so it does not have a hold on you both mentally and physically.  Perhaps by recognizing it, it will have served its purpose.

When one doesn't deal with their triggers, they then project them onto others.  They are projecting onto someone else that which is inside of them that they have not looked at.  There are times when they are triggered and the situation is something that they have failed to deal with or something that they feel they do not like in themselves.  It is so important to be aware of your own triggers and to confront them.  When you do this, you will know for sure when someone is projecting their triggers on you or when you are projecting on another.

Looking at the shadow self is so necessary to be whole. 💜🙏

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